


Harry Potter and Pendragon: The Flume Thingy

by HenriaSownbinder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Pendragon - D. J. MacHale
Genre: Crossover not meant to be written, Hilarity Ensues, Overuse of Hobey-ho, Some minor violence, everyone is ooc, seriously everyone - Freeform, this makes no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28046118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HenriaSownbinder/pseuds/HenriaSownbinder
Summary: What happens to Bobby and gang when the flume takes a wrong turn?  (Can the flume even take a wrong turn?)  Also, why does Harry and Ron sound whiney and suspicious?  Loor is none too happy with their predicament and she has every right to be.  But it does make for some entertainment.
Kudos: 1





	Harry Potter and Pendragon: The Flume Thingy

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is a warning. This story makes no sense and has no plot. It is ridiculous and everyone is OOC. I was not on anything when I wrote it, I was just bored one night. But here is this monstrosity. And I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It always brings a smile to my face when I re-read it. (I am just that lame guys, sorry.) And yes, this was posted on ff.net before I brought it here. It is not being brought over here without my permission, I promise.
> 
> And with that said.
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> Henny, that lucky Penny!

**Harry Potter and Pendragon: The Flume Thingy**

"Hobey-ho, Pendragon!" Spader said, "Where are we?" he asked looking around with curiosity.

"Hobey-ho, Spader!" Bobby Pendragon answered, "That is a most excellent question."

"Oi! You there!" a voice shouted their way, "Who are you?"

"Um, I'm Bobby" he answered the voice, " Who are you and why are you in my story?" Bobby's voice cracked.

"Excuse me, your story? This is my story." a figure came out from behind a tree.

"Harry! Don't be so rude!" a female's voice exclaimed. Another figure came out from behind the same tree; "My name is Hermione Granger. This is Harry Potter." the figure named Hermione said. She turned back to the tree, "Ronald! Don't be shy!" a third figure came out from behind the tree, "And this is Ron Weasley."

"Hobey-ho! My name is Spader." Spader waved, "I have a first name, but I have temporarily forgotten it."

"Well, Bobby and Spader, welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Hermione welcomed them warmly.

"Pendragon, I think the flume made a wrong turn or two." Spader whispered to Bobby, "This doesn't look like Eelong to me."

"I didn't think the flume could _make_ wrong turns." Bobby whispered back.

"Oi! What are you two whispering about?" Ron interrupted suspiciously.

"Ron, you over-suspicious monkey! Don't yell at them!" Hermione scolded, "Can't you see they are lost?" she said observantly.

"I'm not a monkey! And I am not suspicious, you baboon." Ron retorted.

"Guys! Please, let's get back to the real story." Harry begged, "And please make that pleaded." Harry _BEGGED_.

"Ok, so, we somehow ended up at Hogwarts." Spader summarized, "This is a tum-tigger if I ever saw one, Pendragon."

"I know what you mean, Spader." Bobby replied. Ron, Harry and Hermione looked at Bobby and Spader curiously.

"Oi! What is that noise?" Ron asked suspiciously, "And stop making me sound suspicious!" he added _SUSPICIOUSLY_.

"It sounds like notes." Hermione observed.

"Hey! Why does she get to sound smart while we sound suspicious and whiney?" Harry begged.

_"Because I feel like it." the author replied, "Now get back to the plot!" the author ordered._

"So-rry! Didn't know it was a crime to ask questions." Harry mumbled.

_"Now, getting back to the story." the author said while ignoring Harry._

"Oh, right. Anyway," Bobby started, "That would be the flume. Obviously it is having serious issues today." he answered.

"Hobey-ho, Pendragon! It must be Loor!" Spader exclaimed.

"Oh no!" Bobby grumbled.

The notes did a crescendo as a light started to appear. A flash emitted from the air and blinded everyone. Then it all stopped. All that was there was a dark figure.

She was dark-skinned and very athletic looking. She had no fat what so ever on her anywhere. She had dark hair and chocolate eyes. They were darting around warily.

"What have you done, Pendragon?" the dark beauty asked.

"Why do you always think it is my fault?" Bobby asked angrily.

"Because it normally is." she replied.

"Oh." was all Bobby could say with a shoulder shrug.

Ron visibly shook his head. His eyes had glazed over when he saw this dark stranger come out of the flume thingy. The sudden movement caused Loor to draw her weapon and swing it so it was a few inches from Ron's nose. Hermione drew her wand just as fast. She pointed it at Loor's head.

"Woah! Ladies! Calm down Loor. Put that thing away before you or some else gets hurt." Bobby said.

"Hermione, you don't have to curse every girl that looks Ron's way." Harry begged while he brought Hermione's arm down. Harry shot the author a look while Hermione begrudedly put her wand away.

"There, much better." Spader said nervously.

"Well, answer my question, Pendragon." Loor demanded while she kept an eye on Ron. Almost like she was daring him to move.

"For once, it was not me. Why can't you accept that?" Bobby pleaded.

"Hey! Why does he get to plead while I have to beg?" Harry begged, _ANNOYINGLY_.

_"Because, you baby, I feel like picking on you today." the author answered, "Now quit ruining the story and shut it!"_

"Ok, ok. Sorry." Harry mumbled.

_"Thank you." the author said._

"That was not normal." Loor observed, "Maybe it was not your fault this time, Pendragon, but the flumes do not do this regularly." Loor added, determidly.

"Is that even a word?" Ron asked suspiciously, "Bloody hell!" he swore _SUSPICIOUSLY_.

"Don't swear, Ronald! And is what even a word?" Hermione asked.

"Determidly?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"No Ron." Hermione answered, "Now stop making words up." she scolded.

"Sorry. Was just asking." Ron grumbled.

"Now, how do we get out of here, Pendragon?" Loor asked. Her eyes darted to the dark-haired boy with round glasses and a scar on his forehead in the shape of a lightening bolt, "What is your name, Scar-Boy?" she asked him.

"Harry Potter." Harry answered.

"Hey! I didn't sound suspicious!" Ron exclaimed, "And Harry didn't beg!" he added.

_-suspiciously._

_-he begged._

_"Happy now, Ron?" the author sneered._

"Not really." Ron mumbled suspiciously, "Oh, hell with it!" he swore suspiciously.

_"Now, let's move on, shall we?" the author asked._

"Yes, let's." Harry begged.

"Well, maybe you should try the same way you came?" Hermione suggested observantly.

"It won't work. My ring isn't telling me there is a flume near-by." Bobby answered.

_"Hmmm...I shall have to fix that." the author mumbled._

Suddenly, Bobby's ring began to vibrate. Bobby jumped. The grey stone was starting to glow.

"Oh, I stand corrected." Bobby looked to the author sourly.

"I'm sorry. I had to do it." the author said and shrugged, "Forgive me?"

"Fine," Bobby sighed, "I forgive you."

_"Thank you." the author bowed._

"Maybe one of us should try and see if the flume is working." Loor suggested.

"Hobey-ho! I will, milady." Spader volunteered.

"Have a go if you want, my friend." Bobby said.

"Alright!" Spader said, "Wish me luck!"

Hermione walked up and gave him a kiss on the cheek and a quick hug. Harry shook his hand and patted him on the back. Ron followed suit.

Spader smiled, "Eelong!" he shouted.

Musical notes could be heard and a light started to grow. There was a flash of light as the notes reached the end of their crescendo. Then all was still. Spader was gone.

"It is just like apparating." Harry muttered to Ron. Ron nodded in agreement.

Bobby laid his ring on the ground. He shouted, "Spader!" and it started to grow. Spader's head appeared in the void the ring created.

"Hobey-ho Pendragon!" the Spader-head said, "I'm in Eelong!" he added.

"Okay, I will send Loor next." Bobby answered.

"But, can't she stay here?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Um, no." Bobby answered slowly, "She needs to come with us and help us fight Saint Dane."

"Why would you want to fight a saint?" Hermione asked observantly. "I don't need to observe everything, you know." Hermione added _OBSERVANTLY_.

"Anyways, couldn't she stay for a day?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Ron, I already thought you had Lavender?" Harry begged, "Why do you need Loor?" Ron blushed.

"Nevermind." he replied, suspiciously.

"Right." Bobby said after a moment of awkward silence, "Ready Loor?"

"Yes." she replied, "See you in Eelong, Pendragon."

She waved good-bye to everyone and turned to shout _'Eelong.'_ Before she could do so, though, Ron jumped and wrapped his arms around her legs. Loor whipped her head around and grabbed her staff. She thwacked Ron on the back.

"Ouch!" Ron yelled suspiciously. Loor continued to hit him.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" Hermione asked Bobby observantly.

"Oh no." Bobby answered, "I know she can kick my butt. I'm scared of her." Loor's assault on Ron continued.

"Okay! I will let go!" Ron relented suspiciously.

Loor stopped and Ron quickly took two steps backwards. She kept a wary eye on him.

"Eelong!" she shouted and the light appeared with the music and Loor was gone.

"NOOOOO!" Ron dropped to his knees and started crying.

"Okay, well, I will see you guys later." Bobby eyed Ron strangely, "Maybe." he added.

"Bye Bobby!" Hermione said observantly. She shot the author an icy glare. The author glared back with equal iciness, "Is that even a word too?" she said to the author.

_"Miss Bossy, get back to the plot!" the author ordered Hermione._

"Anyways, safe travels, Bobby!" Harry begged.

"Good-bye!" Bobby said, "Eelong!"

The music came and crescendo-ed. The light flashed and Bobby was gone too.

"He was kind of cute!" Hermione squeaked observantly.

"Why did she have to go?!" Ron yelled suspiciously.

"Come on guys, we have double potions next. We don't want to be late." Harry reminded them. And with that, the three of them left.


End file.
